Tom Gagliano has worn many hats throughout his career. As a young man, he soon became a successful entrepreneur with a proven track record in small business ventures in the greater New York area. About ten years ago, Tom started to spend less time in the business world and more time helping those who suffered from negative childhood messages. To pursue a dream of helping others, he returned to school to receive an MSW at age 51.
His book, The Problem Was Me: How to End Negative Self-Talk and Take Your Life to a New Level, with Dr. Abraham Twerski, is one-of-a-kind. It explores how we sabotage the happiness in our lives simply because we are so afraid of intimacy. We become our own worst enemy as we subconsciously push away our loved ones. Tom helps people understand why we push others away so we can enhance the intimacy in our lives.
Tom is a graduate of Seton Hall University and has a bachelor’s degree in Marketing. He then went back to school, at age 51, and graduated from Rutgers with an MSW in August of 2011. He has added a life coach to his resume in January of 2012. Today Tom is a life coach, published author, and a keynote speaker with a Master’s degree in social work.
He was a bully as a kid and a recovering addict. He eventually went to addictions to medicate his problems. He realized at an early age he needed to fix what was broken inside of him. He then had two goals. One he wanted to give his children what his father couldn’t give him, A SAFE PLACE TO SHARE their FEELINGS WHATEVER THEY MIGHT BE. Next he wanted to help others silence that destructive inner voice they grew up with.
Today he facilitates men and women’s groups as well as marriage consultations explaining the ways to give parents the tools to give their children the positive and loving messages that may have been denied to them in their childhood.
We’ve been seeing Tom for the past year. Initially, he suggested we take actions with our children that I thought would never work. He told me not to strive for perfection just takes an action a day. Later I understood what he meant when he said boundaries make life easier not more difficult. My son was afraid of going to school so Tom started to tell me to try to think about how he feels, not only how I feel as a parent. When I started to do that and listen more he started to talk to me more and tell me his feelings. He still gets afraid but we talk about it, its not a war every morning. As Tom always says we needed to make our relationship a we process not a me process. Thank you Tom and keep up the good work.Ari and Chaya B.
I have been working with Tom for seven years. When we started I was a newly separated business man with 3 daughters 6 and under about to walk through a divorce, potential economic collapse and having to take care of 3 young girls. I was Filled with fear, anxiety and a ton of bad habits like control, lack of patience, self-centeredness. I felt actually broken. Tom walked through them all with me. With his guidance, compassion and knowledge he taught me to be a more present, compassionate, loving and empathetic man. I can say I know Me more that at any time in my life. And if I choose..that will continue. The economic situation stabilized. I actually have a relationship with my ex based on healthy boundaries and mutual respect. As a Dad, Tom has taught me to listen to my children. To be ok with not having all the answers when it comes to my kids or life for that fact. . I don't judge my children. I truly try to understand what it is to be a teenager again. We talk. Just this past week I realized I spent an entire week of vacation and did not raise my voice once. That's a miracle. My kids are from a divorced, once broken family. But they are not broken today. His knowledge, Personal Experience, and insights, continue to be an inspiration and guide to me along my journey.Steve L.